Last September Hubby suggested that I try teaching again. His school has some Allied Educators (AEDs) who do small-group coaching for weaker students, and they seem to be very free, ending work at half-day. It would help relieve some of his burden of being the single income provider.
I was not very keen because I felt it was important to be with Boyboy at his young age. But small-group teaching is more meaningful to me, and I still had an interest to teach. Being an AED who ends work at half-day would mean I will still have time with Boyboy. Especially if the school is nearby.
So I tried signing up and went for the interview. The moment they offered me Art at primary level, I jumped at the chance.
Unfortunately, 天时地理不人和 :(
(1) Applied for Punggol, Sengkang or Hougang schools. They gave me Yishun.
My travelling time one-way alone is 1.5 hours, which means I had to leave home at 6am. Luckily Hubby would drop me off at a mid-way bus-stop, saving me 20mins.
But going home was still a problem. When school ends at 2pm, by the time I leave the school and reach home, it would be 4+ or 5pm. Then Boyboy would be at my Mum's cos she needs to be home to cook dinner. So I had practically no time with him on weekdays :(
I asked, not allowed to transfer school until end of 2nd year. WTH?
(2) Who says AEDs work half-days?
Apparently not. My school is also an extreme exception; my fellow AEDs were told their knock-off time is 4.30pm. On my first meeting with my Principal and VP, I had clarified that my family commitments meant I cannot stay back after school. They said ok, I just need to stay back for CCA.
But more and more duties were laid onto me, so I ended up having to stay back til 5pm on at least 3 days. Leaving school at 5pm means I had to rush home in a cab in order to pick Boyboy up and put him to bed. Ended up spending $15 every day in cab fare home. Not worth it.
(3) Damn lousy supervisor!
This is the main reason why I resigned.
The Head of Art in my school had gone on no-pay leave just before I came, due to health issues. So the Art department only had one remaining member, a young female Malay teacher, let's call her Z. So she become the 'queen', controlling anything to do with the department.
There is another AED in the department, so the two of us became Z's sidekicks cum personal assistants. She would expect us to move together in school as a 'team', even during free periods and lunch. She delegated tasks that were her own problem, nothing to do with the department.
She gave all her instructions verbally i.e disorganised, messy and incomplete. And fickle. We would complete a task and be told to redo it because it was not as she instructed. Because nothing was in black and white.
This was made worse because I can't meet up on weekends and evenings for random things such as buying a few art materials or checking some place out. Which in fact she can do on her own and does not need to involve us. So I was left out of the (verbal) loop on many things, making her instructions even more indecipherable.
I tried to clarify and communicate with Z, but I think she has poor EQ. She would act as if she did not hear me, no response. Even after repeated asking. It's not just me, I realised from asking around.
Worst of all, Z did not go for her Art lessons at all. She would hide in the staff room surfing or tong-ing her hair while doing 'extremely urgent admin matters'. The department was in charge of Primary 3-6 art lessons; I was tasked with P4 and 6, the other AED was thrown P3 and 5. Where's my small group?
I don't mind teaching, but only if I have control over my classrooms. No, Z insisted on deciding on the lesson plan i.e what and how to teach. She would 'ask for our ideas', but still override everything and use her initial plans even after we submitted pages of suggestions with research.
And Z is a super-procrastinator. Reminders were no use. She would confirm the lesson plan only the Sunday before the new topics began on Monday. So superwoman me had to pia all the research, powerpoints and worksheets for P3, 4, 5 and 6 overnight.
Ok if you don't have a life, but I do. I have a family to give attention to!
Then in class when I am talking and giving instructions halfway, she would suddenly appear and override my instructions in front of the whole class, apparently due to a 'flash of inspiration'. She wanted to control even simple things like which of 3 artrooms to use, when there were no one else using them except me. My students had to exit the class, pick up their bags and move in all over again.
Super undermining my authority. She also wanted to mark all the works, even when we had decided to grade based on effort. How do you do that when you are not even there?
Anyway, ended up she didn't mark the whole term's work. She decided to 'go with her instincts' and grade based on her past knowledge of the students. So kelong and unfair :(
The students learnt that anything I say doesn't count. They would keep asking "Where is Z?" and not pay attention in class. How to manage students with such an image? :(
Z ruled her classes using fear. She would be shouting at everything and anything and cursing and swearing and threatening students, even locking them in the dark storeroom. That's not my style. So every time she waltzes into the class for fun, she kills the entire atmosphere.
I ended up having to use Z's style on my students since that's the way they're used to, and it worked. But I didn't like behaving that way, and found it difficult to get rid of the negativity outside of school.
Z is also super kelong, as all the external instructors we hire turned out to be her friends, and her boyfriends gets paid lots to do many artworks around the school that are not even suitable for the students e.g. an evil-looking Alice in wonderland... What the????
I didn't see the point in staying and doing the dirty job for her. I don't want to let her get away with skiving. Our expectations from students are different too; I want them to explore and learn; she wants perfect work.
And it is definitely difficult to work in a diploma-level job when I have a degree, and be treated like a servant by someone I deem so much lesser than me, in terms of both qualifications and values.
(4) Grandma is a babysitter, not an educator
My Mum offered to look after Boyboy. She would come over at 6am in the morning from across the road, so I can wash up in time for work. Felt bad about this, as it's still dark and dangerous at that time.
She would lie in bed beside Boyboy and wait for him to wake up, bringing him over to her place in the afternoon til Hubby and I fetch him in the evenings.
Boyboy is ready to be potty trained, feed himself and learn to sit down and read. But all Grandma does is play with him. She says that at his age he should play more. Yes, but life skills are also important.
Grandma also looks after Boyboy and Boyboy alone. My house windows are not open, left the way it is the when we leave home. My home is super dirty as I am not home to clean it. Every day one weekend is spent at the in-laws, leaving one miserable day to do everything, while looking after Boyboy.
Boyboy's clothes are not washed until I realise he has run out of pyjamas. His nails are not trimmed until I realise it's painful when he scratches my face. Grandma says I can do all those when I get home.
All in all, I appreciate Grandma's efforts to take care of my son, but it's not going as ideally as I hoped. And I definitely do not want to be one of those weekend parents who dump their kid at the grandparents', only bringing them home on the weekend. That's not what being a parent is about.
Boyboy is also getting more spoilt after spending so much time with the grandparents on both sides. It's time to step in with some discipline and routine.
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In conclusion, all the crap I'm taking in this AED job is not worth the opportunity cost Boyboy is bearing.
So I've resigned again. If MOE blacklists me, then no choice also. I've almost decided not to work in such formal institutions again... too many restrictions and hierarchy and crap.
Maybe it's time to go back to being a ad-hoc art teacher...?
My journey to become a teacher seems to be fraught with obstacles.
I've all along wanted to teach Primary school Art, but after 4 applications, MOE still gave me Secondary. Ok, so I gave it a try. That was almost 2.5 years ago.
First day of teaching, and the school throws me English for the Sec 1 Normal Academic and Normal Tech classes, not to mention Art for the whole level. No training, no briefing even, or offers for me to sit in on another teacher's class to learn.
With zero class management skills, I had to deal with students slitting their hands with a penknife in class, fights between big boys that I had to physically break up, and Sec 4 'gangsters' hanging outside my class waiting for a chance to catch their victim.
Then I became pregnant and had nausea so bad that I kept running to the toilet to throw up anything I'd eaten, sometimes holding a plastic bag in class.
I didn't want to risk miscarrying, given the usual situation in my N(A) and N(T) classes. It was so easy to be pushed to the ground during students' fights. So i resigned.
The baby is most important, isn't it?
Still wanted to teach though. So last year I tried again. So glad that MOE gave me another chance. But now I've resigned again.
Feeling quite pessimistic about this.... I doubt that I will not be blacklisted, having tendered my resignation twice now within 2 months of starting the job :(
These days I've been sitting around in my flat so often, I start imagining how I can remodel it.
When we first renovated, I toyed with the idea of an 'Eclectic' theme, otherwise known in local context as 'chap ba lang' ;) It means selecting individual elements from a variety of styles.
This would let me collect all the vintage retro stuff that I like. But Hubby was not enthusiastic about having a cluttered home, so we compromised on having a 'modern retro' look instead.
But recently I've been thinking about furniture pieces I would REALLY like to own. It all started when I spotted this at Ikea:
A very 'art deco' dining table set at only $495!!!! And it's so cool that all the chairs wrap around the table and fit perfectly. Alas... no space for it at home, or I would have bought it already :(
Also revisited a memory from my childhood... the rattan swing.
An aunt used to have it at her home and I would sit inside for hours. I still love the idea of being able to chill out while swinging gently in it, looking out of my full-length living room window. Boyboy will look cute sitting in it too! (Of course under my supervision.)
Alas, Hubby finds the flat too cluttered already, and horrors! The thought of drilling a hole in the ceiling to fix it up!
I haven't given up the idea though. Maybe later, if we end up staying long in this flat.
Thought of converting an old sewing machine base into a table too. Saw the parts at a 2nd-hand garang guni shop when sourcing for my flat almost 3 years ago... but gave up the idea cos it didn't fit into the 'modern retro' theme :(
I also covet a statement chair. Retro of course, but I'm still undecided on exactly what type I want. Saw someone discard a rounded sofa the other day at my garbage centre, nearly picked it up to reupholster and keep, hee hee. Hubby would have gotten a heart attack.
One of these :)
Just thinking about the possibilities makes me drool! :D Some fantasizing in my mundane stay-at-home-mum life...
This is the recent Cadbury chocolate ad that has gotten many people amused. I like the ad, but from the point of the client, I wouldn't use it because it's telling my customers that my product makes their children hyper ;) Who will buy then? Thought it would be for some iPod product.
Channel 8 showed the last episode of "My School Daze" last night.
I had started to follow the series, but later dropped out cos it was reminding me too much of my unhappy experiences teaching. But when the teachers in the show (played by Chen Hanwei and Rui En) quit the school system to work in tuition agencies, I started following it again, just to see what the final message would be.
After all, it is a very real situation today, that teachers find more meaning in teaching small-group tuition than addressing a huge class of 30-40 without any real impact.
The final message was that Chen Hanwei stuck to tuition, even charging half-price for needy students. Ok, can be done, if one does not really need so much money.
Rui En, inspired by one success, went back to school and asked to teach only the Normal stream. She gives an impassioned speech about how she too used to be a 'rotten egg', moving all her students, who decide to try hard. Hmm. Not so realistic. Anyway, that wouldn't work for me as I was never a 'rotten egg', so no credibility there.
In the initial part of the show, Rui En's character was a new spunky teacher who impresses her students with her cool convertible, rewards and interesting teaching methods. I personally think the 1st two ways are wrong, as Rui En later finds out. The students began to have greed only for rewards, without using their hearts.
Interesting teaching methods... Rui En hid strips of paper with Chinese idioms on them all over the school, and gave verbal hints. Her students had to run around to find the paper, and get a reward.
Will that work in real life? No. Firstly, too much noise. Secondly, as if Sec students will run around and get themselves tired and sweaty just for your reward. They will probably say "Lame lah, 'Cher."
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I had tried such stuff with my students too. We went all over the school to collect texture rubbings, and made artpieces out of them. I also did a play (complete with hastily-made props) with my Normal Tech class, instead of reading out the story to them as instructed in the material.
Some of my colleagues raised their eyebrows at the noise I was creating, but I felt that at least these activities connect more with the students, rather than boring classroom lectures. They had so much fun.
In fact, I was encouraged, when the uncle school counsellor happened to see the play in action, and said that he thought I should stay on as I was a good teacher. Alas, it was my last day of work, and it was too little, too late.
It is simply too tiring to have to have such activities for every single lesson, every single day, every single week, for the entire school year. Students need to learn to settle down too. It is not just the teacher's job to make sure they are 'engaged' 24/7.
So I still think quitting was the right decision for me. Just that... die, I think I am destined to still be a teacher someday, albeit in a different form. Perhaps teaching in an art enrichment class, or private tuition... or something.
The trauma I feel from my teaching stint continues. I believe I am unable to cut myself off from the notion that I 'am' a teacher, probably because my hubby comes home every day to share about his teaching. I also keep in touch with my students via my art class blog, as they clamour for more info about my pregnancy and keep asking me to return soon.
I have also started giving SMS tuition to a particular student from my most hated class. He was a troublesome boy, always walking around during class and I had to single him out for scoldings. But one day he approached me in the canteen for help with his Maths, as his Maths teacher 'did not have the time' to help him. So I gave him an hour's tuition.
At least he is willing to learn. So now and then, he will now SMS me with a Maths question and ask "Teacher, how to do this?" I help him because he always says "Thank you" after I explain the trick to solving such sums. It is at such times when I really feel the meaning of being a teacher.
When I read in the newspapers that Health Promotion Board has launched a new handwashing song for kids, for a moment I was pissed. I had written a little ditty (previous post) for the same purpose while I was working there, and the visuals flashed on TV news showed the poster I did. So had my song been hijacked for their latest campaign?
Luckily, it's a new one.
But I still attribute the concept to me, cos I had proposed a song as a reinforcement, especially for little children. My bosses never did pick up the idea, until now.
I was thinking, why was I feeling offended? Even if they had indeed hijacked my work, it was work done for the organisation as an employee, so I had no 'rightful claim' to it. Intellectual copyright is a difficult issue. Though personally I feel that as the creator, I still have the most rights to the work.
Feel bad for the design agency who did the poster for me then... their work has now been cut up and re-arranged to be used in this new song video. Isn't that an infringement of their copyright then? Although as with most working relationships in Singapore, the client is always right and always has the last say in what they do with whatever they pay you for. Especially when the client is the Gahmen.
After three tries attempting to become a Pri school teacher, I finally got offered Art, albeit at Secondary level. Because it was Art, I gave it a try, although I was very, very apprehensive about working with teens. Turns out my gut feeling was right.
I was given the whole Sec 1 level to teach Art, as well as a Sec 2 Express class for English.
Standard procedure was to put me on observation of other teachers for at least a week, but I was unlucky. I was thrown in and expected to teach on my first day, without any chance to learn from other teachers.
At 8 periods a week, I had to teach almost 5 hours of English in which I am totally untrained in. Every time I entered the classroom, I felt as if I was a fraud, just trying to make time pass as quickly as possible. After the 1st week, the thought of quitting entered my mind.
When I consulted my English HOD about my worries, she actually told me not to think so much and just read from the textbook and cover the syllabus. Which is so wrong, it shocked me.
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I tendered my resignation after 2 weeks. The principal offered me a bargain --- he would take away my English class and make me a Pure Art teacher. So I withdrew my letter from MOE.
But he didn't deliver his side of the bargain. Instead, my English burden shifted from the Sec 2 Express class to a Sec 1 Normal Academic class. According to my HOD, this was a class that the school does not have expectations for, so it didn't matter if I couldn't deliver. The switch was supposedly meant to 'relieve my stress'.
Class 1H was horrible. Two-third of the class consist of boys, who cannot sit still during any of their classes. They would be walking around, chatting or throwing pens at one another. I spent every lesson shouting and screaming at them, threatening detention --- to which they will reply "Detention, detention lor!"
I was also placed as co-form teacher of the Sec 1 Normal Technical class, which was worse than 1H in that they would be chasing, fighting and running in and out of class during lessons. Attempts to control them only invited their laughs. No such thing as teaching during their lessons.
So basically, I felt like an inept teacher for the past 2 months. I was not teaching, but shouting every day. I asked colleagues for advice, but most who handled the same classes confessed they had given up on the students.
Hence I tendered my resignation again after 2 more weeks i.e. after 1 month. I was pissed when MOE issued a letter telling me that "resignation should be taken seriously". As if I didn't! It was the principal who did not keep his word.
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The discipline in the school also greatly disappointed me. Being a cheena school associated with a clan association, I expected it to have strong values and a strict hand. Apparently the current principal does not think discipline is that important.
(1) Students don't even open their mouths to sing the National Anthem and say the Pledge every morning. And all he does is stand on the stage and implore, "Sec 1s, please sing louder."
(2) He came into 1H as he could hear them from the General Office (yes they are that rowdy). I was so happy to see him with the cane, thinking he was finally going to tekan them. Instead, he gave a soft, long-winded story on the cane's history and told them to please keep their volume down. WTH?!!
(3) A colleague complained to me that he dragged a pair of Sec 4 defiant boys to the office for caning. But his concern was dismissed in front of the boys and they were sent free.
I had also personally experienced the scum of the school. During one of my Sec 1 art classes, three Sec 3 gangsters were loitering outside the class, waiting to catch the tiny class monitor for 'a little chat'. Turns out he had reported their girlfriends in the class for handphone usage, and they were there for revenge.
I had to catch a passing male teacher to talk to them, gangster-to-gangster. The girls were so angry they tore up their artworks in my face. I managed to keep my cool and tell them no work = no marks. For the week after that, my husband fetched me from school, just in case.
On my last day of school, I also had to rush into the girl's toilet to handle a girl who had slashed her classmate with a scissors and locked herself in the cubicle.
Sigh. I applied to be a teacher, not a prison warden :(((
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Most of my colleagues, on finding out that I was leaving, expressed their envy. They were tied up in their bond and had no choice. Many said that they would never have signed the bond if they had the chance to take a trial contract like me. They were counting down to the end of the bond so they could escape. Isn't that so sad?
There is a high price to pay for the high salary dished out by MOE.
Teaching sucks the life out of you, both mentally and physically. Our mistake is to imagine 'teaching' using our own experiences as a student --- students nowadays are different. Many do not have the right attitude; they don't even want to learn. There are such cases even in the best classes. How to teach like that?
I would rather just teach only those who really want to learn. Still pondering my options.
Wanted to stock up on new clothes for my teaching, but it was mostly winter wear. Managed to find some things though!
This is Road Kill, R.K. for short. Cos he's a flat pencil case that looks like he was run over by a car ;)
I also found Shrilling Chicken, with a horrible 'Aaack I am dying!!!' call. But later I discovered it's selling in S'pore too. Well at least I got it for cheaper. Horrifies the cats too.
Assortment of souvenirs... some retro stuff, a Roy Lichtenstein cum Hannibal tee-in-a-can, a quirky milk carton clock, a nice illustration book, and a bag from one of the aboriginal groups.
Clothes and scarfs!!!
Got my boots for S$35, and shoes for S$10 each. Would have bought more but I ran out of money :((( Stupid clients have not paid me so I couldn't draw anymore :(((
Braved the crowds last Saturday to throng through Suntec City at a snail's pace. I hate going to town on weekends! Alas the Popular book fair was on and I needed to stock up on some reference books while they were on discount.
My back-to-school shopping included a big box of red pens... in anticipation of the mountains of marking I would need to do each day. Sigh.
I'm still sick. I've had the flu for a week, since last Monday. It all happened like this...
My latest teaching assignment was a 4-day art course for Primary 2 girls in Canossa Convent Primary. I was looking forward to that, as all-girls schools tend to have better discipline. Finally, no little boys to scream at!
The first lesson on Thursday was fine. Everyone had a great time, learning to unwind and relax after their exams. We made some progress with pencil drawing and crayons, even if I had to keep pulling back their short attention span.
Then all hell broke loose on Tuesday, the next lesson. The girls must have really enjoyed their weekends as they seemed to already be in holiday mood, what with only 4 days to end of the school term. I had to shout and really project my voice to keep the little devils (but overall I still think they're angels!) under control, so we can actually get some work done. As with any art class, the headache is the mess created. Spilt water bowls, paint marks on uniforms (although they were supposed to bring aprons or old t-shirts), newspapers flying all over the floor.
As I walked out to the bus-stop, in the rain, at the end of the day, I felt a lump in my throat. No, I was not getting all choked up and poignant about the experience. I was actually feeling the onset of a horrible sore throat. The running nose came swiftly, and by night I was purging phelgm like a gross ah pek.
I called in sick for the next day, but the educational company I'm attached to couldn't find a replacement for the remaining 2 days of class. So I had to go ahead. I could just heck care and stay home to rest, but then the poor girls will have no class.
I didn't like the teacher I was during the following 2 days. With flu comes a shorter temper, and I found myself scolding the girls more often than usual, even giving one class a huge lecture because they were getting too out-of-hand. Only at the end of the day did I noticed essays put up on the wall by the students, describing how they enjoyed their Art lesson the week before, and how Miss Teo is "patient, kind and friendly". Oops.
So I was very surprised when on the last day, I received a purple furry butterfly pen from a girl whose class I taught only for the 1st lesson, before a reshuffling in schedule. I had passed her class to my more experienced teaching partner because they were more rowdy than I had confidence in managing. Felt a little guilty! And touched of course. Many of the other girls also expressed regret and sadness when they realised the course had ended.
At Canossa, I finally experienced what a celebrity would. From the moment I step into the school, people would be calling my name and expecting a wave-back everywhere I went, all the way until I escaped to the bus-stop. This meant that every morning I had to dash from the front entrance into the staff toilet to eat my breakfast (yes I know, v gross) and hid until the bell rang. Recess also meant that my partner and I were accosted in the canteen and grilled by kaypoh and skeptical little girls who demanded to know why we were Miss Teo and Mr Teo but not married to each other. Hahahaha!
Was touched by the students' adoration. But I also knew that they would soon forget me, like I've forgotten many of my primary school teachers, not to mention just a 4-day vendor. I only hope that they remember to have love for Art. Like I was telling those who moaned that their work is ugly, don't judge a work or your own ability until you have put in your patience and best effort, and complete the work properly. Most of them don't have the patience.
One form teacher, also a senior Art teacher, was very encouraging. She would praise my efforts during class, or even when I bumped into her around school. I was impressed by her dynamism and firmness with her class. This was the longest stint I've had with the same group of students and teachers, so naturally I felt closer to them.
A few days ago I wrote a thank-you email to her, and she surprised me by trying to get her principal to hire me instead of letting MOE send me to Secondary schools. Although her attempt failed, I'm nevertheless grateful and honoured that she has such a good impression of me.
I think that will be a morale-booster for my entry to Sec in January next year. I hope!
P/s: I think Canossa Convent Primary would be a good place to send your daughters, if you're Christian. They have prayers every morning and also before each lesson, where they would pray to have the patience and attention to listen to their teachers. Discipline is also very good, with teachers reminding them of how a 'proper girl' should behave. Nice nostalgic colonial campus.
As usual, more photos in my art blog under 'Events'.
With the build-up to the school holidays, I've been busy taking on freelance art teaching assignments. Schools have been desperately looking for 'entertainment' to keep the children busy after exams, so I've been going down to different schools almost every day.
Urgh! I hate to have to wake up so early in the morning, before the sky even starts turning bright. Can't imagine having to do that from January onwards. Yes, I'm almost confirmed to start teaching Secondary Art and English. In which school, I don't know, for MOE will only inform us via letter a miserly one week before school starts. I don't get why they have to be so last minute :(
Generally it has been a good experience teaching young children. I get great satisfaction from seeing the "ORHH!!!!" expression on their faces, and the smug smile of achievement when they succeed in creating their work of art. But I've also had to deal with some 'problem students' who either have discipline problems, or switch off because they insist that they suck at art. Or as one girl told me: "I HATE art! I HATE maths! I hate everything except English!". Oh well.
One student in a Secondary school I went to got on my nerves for the entire 1.5 hr lesson. As our lesson started in the computer lab, he asked "CanIonthesoundcanI?" I said NO. 3 minutes later, he asked "CanIonthesoundcanI?CanIonthesoundcanI?Canright?Can right?CanIonthesoundcanI?CanIonthesoundcanI?CanI?CanI?" And continued throughout the lesson. I suspected he was a ADHD sufferer and so put up with him. Nearly went crazy.
Then there were those who disrupted the classes with their rowdy behaviour and non-stop chatting. In the same class above, the students were using files from a common drive. Suddenly there was a commotion as people realised someone was renaming the files stupid names like 'who's big boobs' and 'who loves who'. My teaching partner and I couldn't figure out who was the culprit. The worst thing is that another class was using the same files at the same time, and this meddling made all the files unaccessible for everyone. That was my worst class ever!
I realise that I tend to pay more attention to the boys when teaching a co-ed class. This can't really be helped as the boys always create more trouble so they need more managing. Poor girls. Guess I have to be more aware of this when I teach at Secondary level, as teenage girls tend to be more bitchy and get jealous more easily. Won't be easy to get their respect if they think that Teacher is biased towards the boys.
Sigh. I still prefer teaching Primary level :( Some photos of my classes here under 'Events'.
It's been another hectic month for me as my previous projects have still been moving 1 step, then taking 2 steps back. Clients who don't know what they want. Sigh. Very very low motivation for working on their designs when I know that there's a very high chance that it'll be for nothing.
So the past few days I've been rebellious and a very un-professional designer. Instead of working on the above-mentioned project, I've been fiddling with illustration. Took part in an illustration challenge on Threadless.com. You can see my submissions on my design site. Look under 'portfolio'.
Also did some catching up with a childhood friend. Danny's the son of my mum's best friend from 30 years ago... my older sister and I used to go for swimming lessons with him at Toa Payoh Swimming Complex when we stayed in Balestier long time ago.
My deepest memory with him was when SBC was showing 盗日英雄传 or some 古装片, and we referred to one another by the chaacters (yes, v lame I realise now). Because he was v tanned, he was Chen Tianwen. My sis was Xiang Yun, and I was Chen Liping's 'Princess ChangPing' cos I was white and round -__-". Haha!
But as we moved away and grew up, we kept in contact less and less. More so for me, as my sis and he were closer in age and had more to talk about. The last I heard, he joined the police force, then got into a little trouble :( Now he's found a new career doing corporate gifts. And suddenly, he's getting married to his girlfriend of many years!
So I went to do my manicure, in preparation for his wedding dinner this past Saturday. Opposite me was a bitchy lady who was treating her mum and aunt to a manicure, and who was kicking up a ruckus because the manicurists had used her 'deluxe' package for them. Conclusion: the older ladies would have to use the normal package and top up the difference in price.
I was a bit put off, by her ah-lian mannerisms, as well as asking her elders to pay from their own pockets. Haiyoh!
Well, the world has a strange way of working.
Went for Danny's wedding and was oohing and aahing with my parents over their wedding pics. Apart from being a little plumper now, Danny is still tall, dark and handsome. The bride was very photogenic; she looks a little like Jade Seah, but a better version ;)
But ah... You know why she seemed so photogenic to me? Because I've seen her before somewhere.
Yes, she is that lady at the manicure salon.
Nearly fainted when I realised that. As usual the photo montage onscreen was flashing photos of the couple and I suddenly caught a glimpse of the 2 aunties I saw at the manicure salon. SHIT!!!!! I thought. And it all came back to me.
As I left the ballroom at the end of the day, I had an uncomfortable sinking feeling. You know, the feeling when you suspect that your friend is hooking up with a lousy gf/bf. Only that a gf/bf is temporary, whereas a wife is permanent (or so it used to be).
But my sis pointed out something that made sense: with Danny's stubborn nature and bad temper, such a lady would be just right to keep him under control ;) Yes, one man's meat can indeed be another man's poison. I just hope that she'll not get in the way if my sis and I decide to reminisce with him someday.
Saw this when driving past some expressway. Cool outdoor ambient ad. Makes that portion of the building seem old, collapsed and see-through. Feel that the effect takes some of the thunder away from the intended Yellow Ribbon message though.
It's been a depressing 3 weeks for me. So far I've been enjoying my freelance work as the projects allow me to express my creativity. Until I started working with my friends. Or rather, FOR my friends.
2 friends asked me to quote for their projects as they need help. Out of friendship, I did, even though I had enough on my plate money-wise. That was a very wrong decision.
The first friend, a friend of more than 10 years from school, holds a managerial position in her company. She lamented that her in-house staff had outdated design skills and wanted me to do the job instead.
She briefed me in Week 1, but she only passed me her company materials on the Sat of Week 2, due on Mon of Week 3, i.e. two days later. I worked on it for 2 whole day and nights, sleeping an average of 3 or 4 hours only to give her 6 design options.
Her reply: that I didn't put any effort into it. No feedback on what was wrong with the designs. No elaboration on her initial brief, which was not much except for the one phrase 'sleek and modern'. I asked her for more feedback -- "not suitable". I asked her if they prefer a dark or light-coloured cover (both options I had submitted) --- "whichever you think is suitable". Hello, obviously whatever I had submitted were what I thought was suitable!
Because this was just the 1st phase of working together, I asked her if she would prefer looking for another vendor who can work solely on her project, as I'm juggling a few and will not meet her quick turnaround requirement (seeing that she is so demanding). I also offered to forgo any payment so far.
I worried that I was not being very professional in doing so, but because she is my friend, I had to be frank and not sabo her. Do you think I'll care if it was just another client?
But she didn't see it this way. She exploded and accused me of wasting her time "only after 2 weeks". Hello, the delay of which was not my fault. Strictly speaking it was only 3 days. Anyway, the conclusion was that I have to redo more options for her.
I'm supposed to be working on them now, but I'm hardly in the mood. I'm very disturbed by the fact that after so many years she can without qualms, accuse me of being a slacker. I had known her character, but figured she'll tamper it with friendship when we're working together. After all, we had worked on a school project together once and it went ok.
The second friend is a colleague from my previous workplace. Again, a vague brief and no feedback at all, except that her boss was "not so keen on it".
3 rounds into re-dos, I submitted more designs and gently asked if we could narrow in on one design and tweak it. Strictly speaking, when vendors are awarded based on a pitching job with mockups, the client has to agree on the mockup. Otherwise don't award that vendor. But of course clients always think they're bigger than the industry rule.
She replied that she needs me to cooperate with her if we're going to complete the job.
SIGH. Why do all these people have such low EQs? If they go on being so confrontational and abrasive, they'll run out of vendors to hire because no one would work for them again. Or is it precisely because that has already happened, that they approached me? And knowing their character/working habits, why was I so stupid as to quote, hoping to help them out as a friend?
After these 2 projects, I've sworn off working for friends. Designers and clients are supposed to be in partnership, working together to reach the ends. But the way the local industry works, we've become servants instead. In a subordinate relationship, friendship is put on the line.
I've previously worked for friends who know how to add a healthy dose of friendship into this designer-client relationship. But these 2 cases have scared me off it.
I'm quite sure the friendships will be non-existent by the end of the projects. I was stupid to have treated them as friends when it apparently was not mutual. And thinking that it will go well despite knowing their 'patterns'.
Many more sleepless, joyless and family-less weekends to go.
Went past a supermarket yesterday and was attracted by these very real-looking currency! So I bought them although it freaked my mum out haha!
Each pile had 10 stacks of 25 pieces of $50 notes. Wah so rich!
Interesting design details on toilet-paper material :)
Meanie me initially thought of disposing of these notes by slotting them into the postboxes of irritating neighbours... but my conscience got the better of me. Hee hee. Left them at the void deck seats instead, in case someone wants to add to their 7th Month offerings.
It has been an uncertain few weeks for me. I had previously mentioned applying for a teaching job at MOE; that has more or less taken shape by now. Went for the interview, bargained with them for Primary level so I can teach Art to children. That didn't work :(
Was called up for an Art portfolio appraisal at NIE this past Friday. Went there only to discover it was for Secondary level. Sigh. How come they still do not care whether the candidate is truly passionate about what he/she will be teaching?
Maybe I should also count my blessings that my interview panel were nice friendly people, as opposed to the panel next door which had a dragon lady in it. I should be grateful that they have at least accommodated my request for Art, albeit not with young children.
I haven't received the official letter yet. If everything goes well, I should expect to start contract teaching in a Secondary school near my home in the coming months. I am VERY, VERY apprehensive about working with teenagers. Already, I feel like slapping them when I see them behaving badly in public spaces. This will be a real test of my patience and tolerance.
But at least for contract teaching, I can wave the white flag with a month's notice. I just don't like the idea that I'm being forced to do something I abhor, with the most likely prospect of it not lasting and worth the effort in the first place.
If MOE had deigned to offer me Primary level, I could see myself doing it for a long time, at least with my current interest in working with kids. Now, with teenagers, i'll be surprised if I actually sign the bond when next July comes. Well, maybe I'll surprise myself.
But with my sensitive nose, pimply teenagers with bad B.O. and big attitude problems will be a big hurdle to cross! Living with conflicts, headaches and high blood pressure every day is not exactly my ideal lifestyle...
Hurray! Finally got rid of my old blog template. It was getting cluttered and I figured this design-based look would better prevent me from adding unnecessary widgets. So just ripped out and re-hauled the whole thing. Hope you like it :) Hmm, maybe I can do a business in customising blog templates for pple.
Last Sunday morning I was doing face-painting for free, downstairs from my block. The RC was having an event to open our new common green and I saw it as a great way to publicise my face-painting sideline, as well as get some photos as testimonies.
So hurray! I've finally done up my face-painting blog, including figuring out how to make changes to the blog template and pics. Great sense of satisfaction. So here it is:
Yesterday I had my last session of ceramics class in Unity Primary School. It was with some relief that I counted down to the day, for it meant I would finally be free of my irritating co-instructors. (One of whom, btw, popped up alongside me while I was minding my own business washing the palettes and 'innocently' asked "So... Ping... when is baby Ping coming?". Luckily my hands were occupied.)
But something surprised me and now I'm feeling a little wistful about leaving the kids behind. Two of the girls shyly ambushed me before the class and passed me their Teacher's Day gifts for me (although it's a few months away!) I casually asked if they were looking for my partner to pass her hers, and guess what they replied? "No, we don't like Ms Chan, she's always scolding us." So I quickly stuffed the gifts into my apron pocket.
When I showed them to my husband he was in disbelief. I've only seen the kids 5 times til then, and I'm an outsider vendor, so it's strange that they took to me so much. Well, what can I say... I must be destined for this job? Hahaa.... (Btw I went for the MOE interview and am now waiting for their reply with an itchy backside.)
Anyway... it's just a ruler and a pen. But my first real present from the kids :) Happy! One of the girls clarified with a very serious face and made sure I knew that the pen came from her. Haha.
I suspect the kids like me cos in comparison to the Leading Instructor I don't have to enforce as much discipline and be the 'black face'. So I appear to be the good guy. Guess it also helps that I'm silly with them, e.g. when one girl asked me to test her artwork by saying "Ms Teo, shake!" I shook my body and stunned her for a few seconds before she broke into laughter.
Some photos of the class in action. Right at the back of the class is Xianlong, the poor China boy who is always targeted and punished by his teachers though I felt he didn't do anything wrong. He actually has initiative e.g. automatically sweeping the floor after each class without fail.
These two photos show the naughtiest boys Melvindar (extreme left) and Ping Shian (extreme right), who were so eager to pose for my camera. Caught in the middle is the roly-poly Indian boy Daniel who has to tahan them with a resigned shake of his head, asking me week after week, "Ms Teo, can change group or not?"
This last photo shows my favourite boy, the super dae2 Irwan (extreme left) who tugs at my clothes and whines all the time. The other two are trouble-makers, sigh. Realised that the boys make a stronger impression on me than the girls... not sure why also.
And here are my fellow instructors resting and talking kok in the art room after the final lesson, when people like me are rushing to go home. Sigh. Notice I purposely did not capture their faces clearly, as I don't want to remember how they look like, ha!
I've been asked to take another round of ceramics class in the same school, with the same batch of instructors, but with a higher pay as a Leading Instructor this time. Quite torn, cos I don't want to associate with these girls any longer! Also, I have to travel for close to 4 hrs to teach and be paid for only 2 hrs; not very worth it. But it's still an income. So see how.... first got to see what MOE's reply is.
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