I was watching an HK drama last night when it showed a scene of employees having a meeting. Suddenly, i felt a pang of... i don't know... missing work?

I missed the times when my HPB colleagues and I would attend meetings with our mugs and sweaters, and the kind of 交流 and exchange of ideas. Even though often so much time is wasted ;)

I miss corporate life, dressing up and going to work, sitting in my cubicle and getting tangible work done. I guess mainly w.r.t. my job in HPB. Strange, that I still envision myself going back to work there, if not, some other government agency.

Not that I resent now being a SAHM (stay-at-home-mum) . It's a different kind of fulfillment. I enjoy playing with Boyboy and just watching him learn and grow. But time just passes too fast.


I wake in the morning and am busy with him all the way til Hubby comes home in the evening. Sometimes my Mum comes over with lunch and plays with him and I get a break. Else none.

I'm apprehensive, especially now that Boyboy has entered the 'almost crawling/standing' phase and is super excitable. He now naps for only 30 minutes every 2-3 hours, which is barely enough for me to eat my meals, take a loo break and drink water.

And that is after I spend up to 45 mins rocking him to sleep. Was resistent to the idea of rocking, but now it seems that he is so hyper that he won't sleep otherwise. Once I left him to fall asleep by himself as usual, and he was still up 1 hr later, flipping around in bed and peering through his cot bars.


That is set to get worse once he can actually move around by himself. But i guess like every other mum, I will (must) learn to cope with it. I just hope that doesn't coincide with Hubby's upcoming reservist when he has to stay overnight in camp for days.

Each day just passes in a flash, and I only have time for myself at night, after he falls asleep at 8pm, and I have my dinner by 9pm. Which is now. Then I have to sleep by 11pm cos Boyboy still wakes multiple times in the middle of the night, either for water or cos his pacifier dropped out.


Which means only 2 hrs to get back some semblance of my life. (How to lose weight with such eat-and-sleep routine!)

Difficult to get many things I want to do, done, such as tidying up the messy house, cos I am so tired sometimes I'ld rather just watch TV and stone, or surf and catch up with friends on FB. Have to remember to give Hubby some attention too.

Like many SAHMs do, I also feel my braincells dying due to lack of use. Being a Mummy needs terrific skills, but a different skills set from being in the workforce. I would still want to go back to work if possible, but am trapped in a dilemma as I don't want to miss out on Boyboy's growing years. No maid for me pls, thank you.


Been hoping that my Mum can take care of Boyboy some days, so I can at least get a part-time job. But sis' hyper mongrel is still under my Mum's care, and we are all afraid of what its pouncing can do to a baby. Strange that the dog is taking priority over Boyboy (and me). Maybe I have not been insistent enough.

Had planned to earn some income by doing freelance copywriting and design, but am now finding it not worth the opportunity cost. Staying up to work on projects is killing me, cos I need the sleep and presence of mind in order to take good care of Boyboy instead of yelling at him when I'm concussed.


Not to mention having to deal with pain in the a** clients who make me work for peanuts and insist on useless meetings that take me away from time with Boyboy. Not worth it :(

So, feeling in a bit of limbo now. Stuck, or rather, suspended, pending further changes. SIGH.

Labels: Concrete Jungle, Homebody, I'm A Mummy