I had a bemusing episode with my MIL on Monday. Hubby and I had taken his parents to check out Tampines One (finally) and we soon wandered to the Cold Storage in the basement. Hubby went off elsewhere while I walked with my PILs despite my killer backache.

I was elated when I spotted tempeh on the supermarket shelves, as I had been wanting to eat it for quite some time. The NTUC at my place never has it, and we have not been free on weekend mornings to venture to the wet market to buy some. Tempeh is a good source of protein for pregnant me, and it keeps better than fresh meat.

So I took a pack of tempeh and put it in the shopping basket. MIL took a look and asked me about the price. I said 4 pieces for $1.50. She exclaimed "So expensive!!!" Apparently she gets hers at her wet market at 3 pieces for $1-1.20. To me, the price difference was fine for the convenience. And I had a craving for it!


MIL proceeded to take the packet of tempeh out of the shopping basket and placed it back onto the shelf. "Don't buy", she told me, "I'll buy and cook for you to eat next time."

I was flabbergasted. Erm, ok lor. But er... I buy because I want to cook at home for everyday lunch leh. But how to argue? When she already offered to buy for me, and cook for me. So I didn't argue.

But on hindsight, it was a little strange. At 32 years old and almost a mother, do I not have the right to decide what grocery I want to buy for myself? MIL probably didn't realise that point, and she was just trying to save money for us.

It is true, to some extent, the saying that if such an incident happens with your own mum, you would not think twice about it. But when it happens with your MIL, you mull over it again and again, although you know you're not being very logical.

Perhaps it's because with our own mothers, we can be direct and even rude (hee hee), but with MILs we always have to be careful about being politically correct and 'PR'. In my mind I wanted to say that I don't mind paying the extra 30 cents, but somehow the line didn't come out from my mouth in fear she would deem me a spendthrift.


I'm thinking... I'm still mulling over the incident, probably because I wonder if it'll lead to other compromises. Especially with regards to the baby after he is born. After all, if MIL feels that I am easy-going and don't mind her being more 'controlling', then it is likely that she will participate more 'actively' with the baby. Help is good, but there is always the danger of it becoming 'interference'.

Not that I mind. It's just that it's a very delicate balance, and I hope I don't have to worry about disharmony while in confinement and already coping with post-natal blues.

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