4:50 pm Sunday, September 24, 2006
Live and let live
The 3rd issue that got me spinning in circles for weeks was, of course, the invincible office politics. It wasn't the simple matter of plotting how to defend myself against the bad guy; it was the difficulty in deciding who was the bad guy in this instance. It's always tricky when you try to make friends at the office, but doubts arise when something happens that implicates your so-called friends. Being new in my office (what with the high turnover rate, many of my old colleagues have gone), I got to know some new people. Due to complicated reasons, 2 of them seem to be fighting a silent war. Each put thoughts into my mind against the other, and for a moment, I was torn on who to believe. One was a more street-wise colleague whom I treated as a friend, the other was a newbie who seemed innocent and simple. My brain decided to be suspicious of the former, for he came from an industry known for its cunning people. It didn't help that a neutral party whom I trusted advised me that the latter was incapable of playing mind games. And so I was totally livid at the former, convinced that he had been playing me against the latter.But my anger lasted for only a day. As I made the effort to observe the both of them, my heart told me to follow my gut instincts. I fell back on the vibes I got in my contact with them, and I was drawn to believe the former. And up til now, I still have more faith in him than the 'innocent' party.
What I gleened from this incident, is that we should just 'let live'. Don't drill ourselves too deeply into something that we can't get out off and see the bigger picture. Most of the time the cause of conflict is trivial, and being coped up in the same space for long hours, we tend to blow matters up to validate our own feelings. I had fallen into this trap too, being swayed so easily by hearsay. (I realised that one way to make your life easier, is to choose to see the good in others. Even if they may behave maliciously, vindictively or dishonorably, there must be some positive traits in them. Weigh the good and bad. Then overall, you decide if this person is worth your acceptance or understanding.)A thought also arose that maybe the neutral party believed in the latter, but who is to say she had not been hoodwinked herself? Not that it matters. We should always follow our own instincts, regardless of what others say. 人言可畏... Rumours can become really ugly as they mutate along the way.So what if the latter is indeed innocent, and I had been and still is being played by the former? I choose to believe him, unless proven otherwise, and it's a decision (or mistake, some would insist) that I will stick with. I can only hope that my trust in and loyalty to friends is not misplaced.And the best thing is, regardless of who I choose to believe, the best route for me to take now is to refrain from any gossiping or spreading of rumours. I can listen and make my own decisions and opinions, but I am not going to let myself be someone's pawn by helping to pass it on.And that is a decision that I am proud of :)Labels: Concrete Jungle
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What I gleened from this incident, is that we should just 'let live'. Don't drill ourselves too deeply into something that we can't get out off and see the bigger picture. Most of the time the cause of conflict is trivial, and being coped up in the same space for long hours, we tend to blow matters up to validate our own feelings. I had fallen into this trap too, being swayed so easily by hearsay. 